He would have bashed us up

He was short-tempered. One day he punched my boss on his face, broke his specs and lost his job. But he’s such a wonderful, goodhearted guy, we always kept in touch.
Once I went with another Bihari friend working in Kolkata to his house in Navi Mumbai. I had already taken lunch.
He told his wife, “Bring some snacks.”
“No, I just had a heavy lunch,” I replied.
By that time his wife had brought the snacks.
“Kha,” (Eat) he said.
“Hmm,” I hesitated.
“Kha, khaa, khaaaaa,” he screamed.
Within minutes my plate was half empty.
I turned to look at my Bihari friend.
That bum was already washing his plate.
When we were returning home, the Bihari friend joked: “Baapre, if we had not eaten, he would have bashed us up.”

Now is the time

At last, I managed to break a two-month jinx and go for a walk/exercise early morning. Felt awesome when I returned and started humming.
“You were down last week. The new book you are reading seems to have made you more positive,” said my roommate. He was referring to The Power of Now.
“Sort of,” I replied. “I am trying to live in the present. Past and future are not worth bothering about.”
“How can you negate past and future,” he laughed.
“Anyway. I liked an anecdote in the book,” I continued. The author was watching some ducks. They were having a merry time floating on the water in a group. Only once, a duck tried to obstruct the path of another. There was a tiff. The two fought for a few seconds. They then moved in different directions as if nothing had happened and flapped their wings “as if to shed their negative energy.” In seconds, they were all together and the past was forgotten.
“All this are OK to read. Tomorrow you get disturbing news and you will start grumbling again,” said my roommate.
“Precisely,” I replied. “Tomorrow I may get. But why waste this precious moment now speculating about tomorrow?”
Smart reply, eh! When I have brilliant friends like you, how can I not be smart? hehe
BTW, guys & gals, this is my 250th post. Do you want to pat me? Pat yourself, if this blog exists, it's because of you, you, you..

Why don’t you say hello?

We have been working in the same office for eight years, but this guy has never said a “Hi” to me.
I was hence stunned yesterday when he said “Hello.”
I felt like someone had gifted me a gold chain.
“Hello,” I reacted. “How you doing?”
“Ya good. I wanted to ask you something,” he said.
“Please shoot.”
“I have noticed you waving your hands to so many people. But why is it you always try to avoid me? Does my face look so dirty?”
Booooomm. I felt like I was stung by a scorpion pushed into my shirt.
“He he, ho ho,” somehow I escaped.
Being an old teenager has its merits. I plunged into memory lane.
I was entering the editorial section of my office in Mumbai one day when I saw that woman (hey..not so pretty OK?) coming from the opposite direction.
“Hey, How you doing?” I asked casually.
She looked at me as if someone had pinched her.
“Sorry I do not recollect who you are,” she snapped.
OMG. What an embarrassment.
It’s a different matter that she indeed knew me. That woman’s dad was working in a different section and had taken Rs100 as loan from me.
What a world of contradictions we live in!

Up above world so high

I do not like skyscrapers. Whenever I see a ground-plus one building in Dubai I feel good. Sharjah has several skyscrapers. But I feel tall buildings lack the human touch. They turn cities into concrete jungles.
Why my sudden outburst? Walking on Al Wahda yesterday, an empty toothpaste packet fell on my shoulders. I looked up, up and up. How to locate the culprit hiding in one of those multistoreyed flats! I had to just move on, thanking the stars that it wasn’t some heavy metal thrown on my head instead.
I remembered a friend who said he had a fight with his sister and threw her book away. Out it went through the window of the third floor and landed on the watchman's head. My friend had to bribe the watchman not to create a scene.
My family was staying on the fifth floor in Mumbai. My wife had asked my daughter to dump some “dal” (cooked cereal) in the garbage bin. The lazy girl quietly threw it out of the window. The “dal” splattered across a new car parked on the ground floor by an advocate. In 10 minutes, the guy was in our apartment. His Honour left only after I had tendered a thousand apologies.
And people ask why I like to wear caps! At this rate, we may be forced to wear helmets while walking near skyscrapers.

Dutch Uncle

Of course, most people know Dutch Uncle (DU) is a person who gives unwelcome advice.
“Why are you looking sad?” asked DU.
In fact, I was in the best frame of mind as I have been reading The Power of Now, a good book. Anyway, I played along.
“A friend has lost job and needs money. I am not in a position to help.”
“Try to help him somehow,” he advised.
“Okay.”
“You have lots of time. Why don’t you try some part-time job? he asked.
“Am trying.”
“Do you know I always get up before sunrise.”
“But I do not go to bed before midnight,” I retorted.
“BTW, Could you talk to your doctor friend. I need a sickness certificate.”
“But you are quite fit. I cannot,” I replied.
“It is only for record. You can’t even help me with small favours,” he replied angrily.
“I know. I do not give unsolicited advice or seek unreasonable favours.”
He has been avoiding me for a week now.

Smart couple

Oct.24 happened to be my wedding day (You have to give it to us. What tolerance level from both sides for 21 years, especially me..hehe).
What’s the secret of your marriage success? asked my friend jovially.
“Give-and-take policy,” I boasted.
“No, I heard your wife hardly gets a chance to talk as you do all the talking,” he continued.
“Change the topic,” I replied.
“I asked you because divorce cases are increasing. After wedding, a bridegroom in Lanka found out that the wife’s family had lied. During the same evening of the wedding day, he said he was going to the market and never returned. This woman remains single even now at 40,” he said.
“Ya, I have heard such stories.”
“There was another couple who separated after 15 years of marriage. Is it not funny?” he asked.
“Temme something positive,” I pleaded.
“OK, there’s this couple happily married for 40 years,” he said.
“Boring,” I joked.
“They stay in different cities for the past 20 years,” he laughed.

This, too, will pass

Two stories from Eckart Tolle’s A New Earth book are interesting to share, though you might have heard about them.
Zen Master Hakuin of Japan was highly regarded by the neighbourhood. It so happened that the teenage daughter of his neighbour became pregnant. When questioned by angry parents, she pointed her finger at Hakuin. The parents accused the Zen master and shouted saying their daughter had confessed he was the father. “Is that so?” was all that he replied. The master lost his reputation and people shunned him. He remained unmoved. The child was born and the parents told him “look after the baby.” The master took loving care of the baby. After one year, the girl confessed that the real father was at the butcher shop. The parents went to Hakuin. “We are sorry. You are not the real father.” All that the master replied was, “Is that so?” The master responds to truth, bad news and good news in the same way.
A king was continuously torn between happiness and sadness. He approached a wise man. He promised to help. After some weeks he returned and handed a ring to the king. On it was inscribed the words “This, too, will pass.” The sage said, “Wear this always. Whatever happens, before you call it good or bad, read this inscription. You will always have peace.” The idea is, don’t jump too much when you hear good news, nor sulk too much on getting sad news.
Good one, eh!

Lesson from ‘lucky’ trouser

It’s not good to be too attached to something, especially material things, but we often tend to get trapped.
There is one particular dress I always considered a favourite.
I used the Sting brand black trouser for special occasions. Last week, when I searched the cupboard, it had vanished.
“That washerman. He has not returned one of my favourite T-shirts also,” complained my roommate.
I confronted the “dhobi.”
“You can come and check my entire shop,” he replied in a sad tone. “After all, you have been our customer for years.”
“If you still doubt us, we will pay the amount you quote,” he added.
I felt bad.
My friend Frenny’s favourite quote rang in my mind.
“Learn to let go and be free.”- Lord Buddha.
I let it go. Hehehe. I feel better now.