Control key

“Life is all wired up. I do not understand who holds the Control key” complained my IT friend.

“Now that the world has Logged In completely, there is no way we can Log Out of technology,” I replied.

“I want to Delete all my friends on FB, throw away the computer and sit quietly by the seaside listening to the sound of waves,” he said.

“You cannot Escape. Home is where the computer Home key is,” I added fuel to fire.

“You are Shifting from the subject. I want to be a monk and Enter a world of peace,” he continued.

“There is no Space for that in the Hard Disk world. Just press Control S and stay connected,” I advised.

“Are you sure there is no way to Disconnect?” he asked innocently.

“There is.”

“How?”

“If I knew that why would I be wasting time with you instead of sitting by the seaside listening to the sound of waves?” I Escaped.

BTW, talking about peace, I remembered powerful words from a Tamil song written by Kannadasan.  

“When I peeled ant’s skin, out came the elephant

When I peeled my heart’s skin, out came wisdom

I got the heart which was there before I was born

I have got the peace that I will get after death.”

Bugging idea by UN

During my childhood days, my brother used to hold a live bee or grasshopper on his hand and make me run for miles in fear. If he repeats that now, I may grab the insect and gulp it. By doing so, I would just be following an advice from the United Nations that edible insects offer a solution to world hunger.

According to a report issued this week by the UN Food and Agriculture Organization, two billion people already consume insects as part of a regular diet.

The UN says that eating insects (high in protein, low in fat) can help fight global warming and hunger. It suggests people try red ants, bees, caterpillars, crickets, grasshoppers, locusts, wasps and certain types of water beetles.

Eating insects reminds me of a touching scene from the 1973 film, Papillon, where the hero, Steve McQueen, languishes in solitary confinement, eating cockroaches.

The UN idea has drawn varied comments on the social media. “I do not want to enter an insect restaurant,” says one. “Better redistribute food than give such bugging ideas,” comments another. “What about those eating bugs killed with a pesticide?” asks the third one.

As for me, the worry is where will I go for a vegetarian insect!

Eggplant look

I just stepped out on Al Wahda Street, Sharjah, along with my daughter when she commented, “Dad. I will get tanned.”

For a moment, the sight of my 75-year-old dad riding a bicycle in Chennai summer heat flashed before my eyes. Here is a teenager complaining about pleasant, morning sun.

“Do not complain about weather ever. Embrace it. I used to look like a tomato when I was young. Now, maybe, I look like a jaded eggplant. But have you heard me complaining about nature?” I philosophized.

“Oh really?” she replied in a sarcastic tone.

We walked a little ahead when a colleague came along.

“Where are you going?” I asked him.

“Where else? I am going to a mall to chill out in A-C. This summer seems to have started with a vengeance,” he replied.

I avoided looking at my daughter.

“Do not walk too much in open air in this heat. You guys may get tanned.”

That was the last bit of advice I needed from him.

'Where's popcorn?’

At my earlier newspaper office in Mumbai, a banana was always served with lunch. When a reporter resigned after years of service, she exclaimed, “My only worry now is how to survive without a banana for lunch.”

Another friend faces a peculiar problem. His office canteen mostly serves biscuits and he is fed up of cookies. Last week, his little son rushed towards him offering some biscuits. The moment my friend saw the biscuits, he yelled “huttt,” leaving the bewildered boy wondering what blunder he had committed.

An affectionate student at my wife’s school in Dubai always asked his teacher to taste or share from his lunchbox. The other day, the vegetarian teacher was embarrassed when the boy offered non-vegetarian food. She pleadingly declined. The boy looked upset, went to his seat and returned after five minutes. “I have removed all the meat. Now you can taste maam.”

Heard this joke: “What did baby corn ask mum corn?”

“Where's popcorn?”