Tuesday, September 28, 2010

‘Diverse’ society: He, she & they

He married twice, had kids, gave up and married another woman, who had married twice and had kids. The children of the spouses joined the well-wishers and blessed the couple.
She is married, has a son, and is now separating from her husband, opting to wed a younger man.
He is married, but not happy with his wife. She loves him and struggles to keep the relation going.
She is an Indian, not married, but prefers to live with him in Germany. She has two foster children now.
He’s an Indian in love with a local girl, ended up marrying an African.
She is here in the UAE, he is there in India. Both love each other, but hardly meet.
These are a few instances I know of personally.
A few years ago, most of these acts would have been scandals. Thank or blame globalisation, not so any more. It’s all in the mind.
With the combined stress of homework and office work telling on them, a colleague told me that many women now prefer to remain homemakers even when they had top academic qualifications.
Well, well. The society is changing. Money, money… Run, run.
That’s the norm.
Buddies, don’t waste time. On your mark, get set. Hey, don’t run so fast, me wanna join you.

29 comments:

  1. It is pretty normal here in the USA but not so much with Indians. It is increasing in Indian community though.

    As always good post...you should always assume this sentence when I leave a comment

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  2. @ ramesh.initially i was confused ..but then caught the point.nice write up

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  3. in the beginning of ur post..it was so confusing..i don't blame u.I am a tube light at times..

    its all about running to achieve it all..that's the norm everywhere!

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  4. ummmmmmm.

    well i don't want to judge but surely kids count. but then its not easy for kids to see their parents in a loveless marriage taking out their frustrations on each other and the kid.

    on homemakers, well, it would be different if the husbands helped reduce the stress at home. and its a pity men are scared to become homemakers:)some deserve it but even if the couple agree, they worry over what others will say think etc. :)

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  5. Have heard of similar cases myself, yet difficult to digest, coming from a society that values marriage (2-way commitment) and relationships (husband-wife, parent-children...) above everything. Times, they are a changing! Only wish, it was for the better :(

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  6. I say ,buddy relax,don't run fast----- slow and steady wins the race and keeps the family :)Kudos to a family men like you ,who loves his wife and kids and is away from them to give them the best.

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  7. This is confusing, really! Though it has become the norm, can these people ever be happy? Every person has got his own/her own draw backs, but when we have children, they should be given priorities, don't you think so?

    Like Kavita says, people like you are the true family makers!

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  8. Hmm, its quite normal!
    You have to ditch a loveless marriage if its not right instead of suffering!
    Interesting post.

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  9. well said..... but don't u think its just once's expectation from other...

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  10. as long as people keep alive the word love ... change is welcome :)

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  11. It's getting quite normal among Indian culture too!!! Especially Couple swapping, after the effect of Kabhi Alvida na Kehna ;)

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  12. First sentence , I read it twice, was that part of an aptitude question? I wondered. Then realised Our dear Ramesh is sharing some thoughts.
    I am a bit irregular these days due to my work schedule.Shall catch up soon.

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  13. It sounds a bit weird in India.But, perhaps, it would be normal away from home.

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  14. Good point. And,no point in sticking around in a loveless marriage, but there are not right and wrong answers. Circumstances dictate the course of action for most people.

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  15. Is it just me or is family life really becoming this complicated? No, I think it really is and is likely to get even moreso as the world becomes a smaller place. Thanks for another thought provoking post - I feel another discussion coming on in the PW household.

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  16. Good post, Ramesh, but it makes me think too. all these women chosing to be home makers...well all very well...just pray he doesn't find another woman coz then she will have nothing to fall back on. At the rate marriages are breaking it is stupid to make a man your only investment.

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  17. good point...i hv never noticed this effect of globalization...

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  18. Move on that's the latest mantra.

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  19. You are so right there. Society is changing and how. In a way its good. Ya dont have to kill urselves over the stress of a dysfunctional relationship out of shame..

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  20. This is true, the family relations now is snot as strong as in the older days..

    Ah..it seems that I have missed out a few of ur valuable previous posts..let me check

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  21. you know why this happens? the thing is that we should control our life. but these days it happens otherwise. life is controlling all of us. we are running as the life making us run. the day we get back the control of our life, everything will be fine :)

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  22. Everything is not preordained or destiny, we make these choices and then like to call it destiny most of the time. The choices we make in our relationship, whatever the reasons are, should not be swayed by the bundle of desires that constitute the mind. There should be reflection, a clear understanding of the present and the future and the belief that one will try to make the relationship as sustainable as possible, rather than move on to the next exit route and find another entry route. As some one who deals with many divorce cases, I can tell you that the reasons for divorce among Indians in recent years is because couples do not wish to adjust to each other or the respective families and find it easier to just cut off their ties and change their priorities again and sometimes again. I don't know how it can contribute to their growth by doing this for ridiculous reasons. If the reasons are valid, I would support it but in most cases that I see, the reasons are trivial.

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  23. Couldn't agree more with what Kavita Didi and Sandhyaji said, yes, trends are changing - Indian culture is being influenced by western and for two people to live together all it needs is mutual trust, understanding and being faithful.

    People who break up and marry again - will they be able to erase those past memories - the lovely times they had, its just about making serious effort to get the relationship going.

    Its easy for us Indians to follow our parents footsteps and adjust to whatever may be the outcome of a marriage. And guys like you are a great example for the coming generation - you stay so far away only to make life simple for your family :)

    Cheers, Sai :)

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