Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Cycle of joy

Today I grabbed a bicycle from a friend and went on a jolly ride around our building. I love the bicycle. It is sad that Sharjah roads are not friendly towards cyclists.
When I returned the cycle, I remembered an incident.
I was covering a news report long ago for our paper about a new, long bridge connecting Mumbai with Navi Mumbai over the sea. I requested GD, a famous photographer of The Times of India, to click a snap. He told me to meet him at the site and asked, “Do you have your own vehicle?”
“Yes,” I replied.
When I reached the spot, he had already finished taking the photos and told me, “Let’s go. Where’s your vehicle?”
I pointed at my bicycle carrier and told him, “Sit.”
I still remember his furious face and the way he screamed, “Whattt? This is a vehicle for you?”
Obviously, he had thought I would be reaching in a car or motorbike.  
Have you heard this joke?
A cyclist dashed against a pedestrian and instantly said: “You are lucky.”
“Nonsense, why am I lucky?” asked the injured guy.
“Yesterday I was riding a truck.”

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Makes me think

While browsing the Net, I came across a compilation of touching snippets at Makes Me Think (MMT) website. It really made me think. Goes to show the value of love and affection. Just picked a few anecdotes to share with you:
• Today, after I watched my dog get run over by a car, I sat on the side of the road holding him and crying. And just before he died, he licked the tears off my face. MMT
• Today, while I was driving my grandfather to his doctor’s appointment, I complained about hitting 2 red lights in a row. My grandfather chuckled and said, “You always complain about the red lights, but you never celebrate the green ones.” MMT
• Today, my close friend died unexpectedly in a car accident. A cab driver saw me crying outside the hospital all alone at 3AM. He stopped, helped me into the cab, drove me to my house 30 miles away and refused to let me pay him. MMT
• Today, I was traveling in Kenya and I met a refugee from Zimbabwe. He said he hadn’t eaten anything in over 3 days and looked extremely skinny and unhealthy. Then my friend offered him the rest of the sandwich he was eating. The first thing the man said was, “We can share it.” MMT
• Today, my father told me, “Just go for it and give it a try! You don’t have to be a professional to build a successful product. Amateurs started Google and Apple. Professionals built the Titanic.” MMT
• Today, I was walking past a group of homeless men who live near my complex. A cab pulled up next to the men and the driver opened up the rear door and pulled out two huge grocery bags full of food. He set them down next to the group of men, got in his cab and drove off without saying a word. MMT
• Today, I was in line at the store behind a man holding a dozen roses. When he got up to the cashier’s counter, he realized that the cashier looked sad. The man smiled and said, “I’m buying 11 of these roses for my wife.” And then he handed the cashier the 12th rose. She smiled from ear to ear. MMT

Friday, September 16, 2011

A couple of complex couples

I asked a friend whether he opted for love marriage or arranged.
“You want to know whether I opted for suicide or murder?” he joked.
Marriage indeed is a complex subject.
I know a couple married for long, but never talk to each other. They even have a son. When I entered their home, the husband moved out quickly without uttering a word. Wonder how they live together without talking to each other for so many years.
Another friend’s wife had a peculiar habit. She will make certain demands. If refused, she will wake up at night and create a scene by cutting her wrist.
A close buddy recently bought a Land Cruiser. His wife refused to talk to him for three days. Reason: The guy allowed a female colleague to sit on the front seat next to him while dropping her home.
When I tried to convince her, she snapped: “Will your wife allow a girl to sit next to you in your new car?”
“First, I do not have a car. Second, if my wife had been so possessive…,” I stopped and thanked God.
The subject also reminds me of a joke from the Internet.
“Doctor, any medicine for long life?”
“Get married.”
“How will it help?”
“You will forget need for long life.”

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Bee happy

“Bye, honey,” said the husband to his wife on the TV show, and I imitated the lines to my wife, picking up my bag to leave for office.
My mind kept whirling around the magnificent insect, honey bee.
How many of us know that to make just one teaspoon of honey, bees need to travel about 1,250 kilometres (roughly Mumbai-Chennai distance) and visit more than 40,000 flowers?
I heard a spiritualist say: One should extract happiness from life as the bee extracts nectar from flowers. The bee flaps its wings and a sort of warmth is created around the flower. The insect then extracts only as much nectar as is needed so as not to harm the flower or cause any pain.
If someone asks who is your favourite music composer, better answer Bee-thovan.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Pacino, the lucky boy

At a time when I was celebrating my hero Al Pacino’s successful “patao”ing (flirting) of the attractive Lucila Sola, I received a call from a beauty in Dubai.
“Hi brother.”
Enough. Pretty women should stop uttering this word. What say handsome boys out there?

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Power of smile: Being 45 at 65

"Hi,” he extended his hand and I could feel an iron grip. He looked a man of 45 but was a full 65 years of age.
“It’s amazing you have maintained so well. What’s the secret?” I asked spontaneously.
“I do not miss my gym and refuse to allow anyone to take away my smile. Hey, congratulate me, I just got married,” said the Canadian. I did.
For those who want to live life full, age is no bar, whether it is a teen like me, or the elderly like him.
I also met another friend. She has a beautiful face and an enviable hip. She’s rich and works in a neighbouring country. But there’s something missing. That smile of the Canadian. In fact, she suffered from optimism deficiency.
“How’s life?” I asked and she replied: “Oh, don’t ask me. I am so depressed.”
Toxic company is hazardous. I wanted to run. Yet, she’s my dear friend. So, I told her: “When you feel down, remember people like Steve Jobs. Given away in adoption by Syrian dad, this hero fights cancer. See where he has taken the Apple company.”
She smiled. I think I won, at least for that moment.
Talking about age, here’s a joke I heard:
“Doctor, I have pain in my right (leg) knee.”
“Oh, blame it on age.”
“But I have no pain in my left knee!”