Life behind the counter

My friend Anil introduced his pal B, whom I found enterprising. So off I went with my questions. He had had a stint with a famous retail giant in Dubai, where customers came from different countries, and he manned the cash counters.
“Tell me some interesting experiences,” I asked him.
He felt Europeans and Americans were friendly. A majority of Asians are cheerful and warm but there have been some unpleasant incidents, he said.
“What, what? Temme?” my journalistic instinct of negativity was at work.
“A lady who speaks my language bought some items and tried to pay through credit card. But it was in her hubby’s name and did not have the mandatory subsidiary benefits. When I told her we can’t accept it, she blew a fuse, yelled at me and lodged a complaint. The company knew I was not wrong, but customer is the king. After heated arguments, she left, but the story did not end there. The next day, her husband arrived and used abusive language.”
Any pleasant experiences?
“An Arab lady had left behind a pouch with $5000. I promptly delivered it to the manager. She returned in an hour and was too pleased. She offered me $100. When I said I cannot accept anything from customers, she promptly went to the counter, bought a gift coupon, thrust it on my hand and disappeared.”
Any funny incident?
“Many, there was this particular customer who kept blabbering and asked stupid questions like you do,” he laughed.

Opening Gates of goodwill

I was standing in the terrace of a building in suburban Chennai, India, where my in-laws live. Pointing at the opposite hospital complex, my wife said: “This TB hospital has now been converted into an AIDS centre thanks to Bill Gates (BG).”
Where is Bill Gates and where is Tambaram? What’s the link! I found the answer. Goodwill and compassion.
Why this talk on BG? There’s a reason. Yesterday Saturday. The usual bookstall visit. And the usual picking up of books at random. What came in my hand was “Showing up for Life,” by Bill Gates Sr.
I glanced for three minutes when the phone call from my friend forced me to move on. But two quick vague notes I made to share with you.
BG Sr wrote about the value of human goodwill. He referred to Pablo Neruda, a Nobel poet of Chile. When Neruda was a child he used to play around a big wall separating his house from a neighbour’s. There was a hole. One day N pushed his hand through the hole, just to see another hand come through. He played along, but never got to see the other face. Next day, when he reached the spot, there was a doll gift. He picked it up, played with it and the succeeding day he placed his own gift. BG Sr highlights how the value of sharing without even knowing the other person brings such immense joy, even to a child.
He also wrote about fight against polio. He had seen the parental anguish caused by the crippling effects of polio. “I am hopeful that I'll live to see polio completely eradicated,” says the man in his eighties.
BG Sr’s says: I believe our society works better when people think less about "me and mine" and more about "us and ours."
Bill Gates Jr.. I am not amazed by your humility any more. You have it in your genes boss. Ask your dad.

He knows better than Google

Why do some people show off? We cannot avoid them, we better learn to endure and enjoy their company.
I was walking on Al Wahda Street when a friend joined in. He started off. “This walk-in-leisure will not take you anywhere, buddy. Take exercise seriously. I get up in the morning and complete my yoga and meditation. I cannot imagine an evening without the gym. During weekends I manage cycling.”
“OK Bruce Lee,” I replied and started jogging to escape him. But he managed to chase me. Look at his famished look and you will realize my plight.
My other boasting friend was smart. He told a colleague, “I can finish off six burgers at a go.” The innocent fellow fell for the bait. They reached the canteen. The first burger got digested in no time. During the second, there was a struggle. When the third came, the guy threw in the towel. “Sorry, I lost. Thanks for the burgers.”
A friend asked me details about a Malaysian minister. I did not know so I suggested him to “Google it.” Another colleague who claimed to be an expert on Malaysian affairs wanted to help. When I insisted “Googling” was better, he got annoyed and replied: “Does Google know better than me?”
Well, over to you, Google.

Cool it, buddy

Short temper is a disease and I like needling short tempered people. Last week, I casually asked a page designer, “So, what’s your programme for tomorrow?”
“Weekly off. Will relax,” he said.
I just reacted in jest. “Again off tomorrow? Last week also you took off. Every week you want weekly off?”
The dumbo failed to take it as a joke. He yelled: “You do not take weekly off or what? When I take my off, the entire world notices. You people…,” he paused, saw other colleagues laugh and understood it was just a joke.
LG is a gorgeous, short-tempered friend. We both entered a branded coffee shop. Don’t worry, she was to pay. But like Jeffery Archer wrote in Luncheon short story, my mind was on the bill. You know how branded shops charge. She had indicated it was her treat. But the male ego? Well, forget it. She placed orders, told me that it won’t be a bad idea to start a coffee shop.
“Yes,” I nodded.
“How much will this coffee machine cost?” she asked the salesgirl.
“I am not the owner maam, no idea,” she replied.
A few more questions and similar answers.
The replies infuriated my friend and a heated argument followed.
In the melee, I was forced to pay the bill and bring her out to calm her.
Hey, don’t tell me it was a tact to make me pay.
Oh, that reminds me how a sexy sanyasin made me pay for lunch in Mumbai. Tomorrow on that.

The go-getters

Two close friends made me proud yesterday.
Mariecar Jara-Puyod is a razor-sharp journalist-colleague of mine. “You have to attend a function where I will receive an award,” she had been telling me for two weeks, but kept the details in suspense. When I reached the venue in Dubai yesterday along with reporter Jamil Khan, I was overcome with joy when she was bestowed the “Woman of Substance” award by the Filipino community’s famous Illustrado magazine. The humble mom of three explained to the audience the challenges and intricacies involved in the life of a journalist. Sincere work does pay, I told myself looking at her as an example.
The other friend is a journalist who is now setting her focus on medical tourism. She is such a close acquaintance that she never took objection whenever I teased her “Fatty.” I myself am one is a fact that I ignore conveniently. But the go-getter mom of a college-going arts student declared: “You will see me slim soon.” I did not take her seriously. I met her yesterday after a gap of a few days. Hold your breath. She had lost at least six kilos.
What’s the magic? I asked her.
“If you have the will you have the way. I went on a diet after consulting a doctor and joined the gym.”
The go-getters get going even as cry babies keep cribbing.