Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Why me?

"Why me?” my friend asked with tears in his eyes.
“What happened?”
“My dad passed away, dearest pet dog died and my sister lies paralysed in hospital. All in one year. Why me?”
I did not know what to answer, but had to say something.
“This ‘why me’ question is asked by 6 billion plus people on earth at least at some stage in their lives. Just yesterday, a friend told me about his dad’s expensive heart surgery and asked ‘why us?’ Accept the situation with courage,” I suggested.
“Advising is easy but to face it is different,” he reacted.
I narrated a story that I read in a magazine. A drunken father battered his wife in front of his three children and killed her, smashing her head against a wall. He landed in jail and the kids did not know where to look for the next meal. “Are we in a worse situation than them?”
Instead of pacifying him, my story annoyed him.
“Why do you compare people’s situations? You are lucky your life is smooth.”
I did not take the bait and unfurl my sob story. As they say, the ship is safe at the harbor but is not meant to be that way. It is supposed to sail and face all kinds of weather challenges. A soldier with wound marks on his face and yet smiling shines. Right?
“What will you do if you were me?” he threw the final question.
“I will look at the mirror and ask myself how should I look – a defeated face or the Buddha serenity.”
“Boss, you overact,” he said turning the discussion into a war.
I could not smile. I realized I am another one in the six billion. I parted without a smile then.
Now at home, when I write this, I understand. The war is all about inner peace. Neither he nor anyone can snatch it away from me. Here I go: Say cheese. 


  1. May the peace be within you always! Keep smiling and stay happy buddy!

  2. :) :) wish your friend should not see this post.
    Say Cheese..

  3. Replies
    1. hi vidya..am not able to leave a comment on yr blog -tech hitch..best wishes

  4. I love your happy posts, Ramesh...you are a happy person!

  5. Good post. When we got no control over certain situations/events/incidents in life, it'd be wiser to accept them and think of solutions to make life better. Everyone of us have our own battle to fight and obstacles/challenges are learning lessons! :)

  6. He's lucky... his dad can get a heart surgery... just a short while back that wouldn't have been possible. And I am not adding my sob story here :) As my wonderful neighbour used to say: Shit happens.

    Ram, just delete that comment if you think it's disrespectful!

  7. Things do go bad against the plans, but then good things do happen, we dont ask god, why me, when we get success & happiness. Two sides of life that makes life intersting & keeps us humane.. Gud post againb :) Cheese

  8. Oh everyone has their own way of dealing with grief, don't you think? Your way works for you, but sometimes just screaming at the top of your lungs, finding someone to blame for all the crappy things in life makes some of us feel good. You can't contrast two problems: my dad died and someone's dad died in a worse way: will always be an unfair comparison. Few can look at their own problems objectively. We're selfish that way. It's odd to expect them to, too.
    I do like your post, though and I'm glad you are one of the few who find their way to deal with things.

  9. Rightly said..we need inner calm..It happens to everyone in the world at point of time or the other.but becoming reactive won't help..

  10. One of the world most asked questions. A wise friend of mine would always reply "Why not you?"

  11. Everyone goes through a phase in life.Every one has hours of grief.But,life has to move on.God has his own way of dealing with humans He created

  12. हम तो रहें मस्ती में, आग लगे बस्ती में ?


  13. I agree .. this why me pops up all the time..

  14. handwritten personal letters have a charm of their own, no technology can ever replace that. my Chachaji told me to write a few letters to him as I used to in my childhood, he said he wanted to relive those sweet memories :)