Missing my mind

I never sit at home on off days. But this time I was forced to do so. For the second day I remained voiceless, thanks to throat infection. Cough syrup Benadril made me so drousy I slept almost entire day.
By 6pm, I shook out of bed and began to walk towards City Centre. Two stout guys asked me the way to the mall. When I tried to explain I realised I could not speak. The first one hit the other on his head and said in Urdu: “Why do you ask fools? He can’t even speak.” They went away looking at me like a cat would at a rat.
I was feeling drowsy and just had a look at the T-shirts section. Two T-shirt slogans attracted my attention.
One read: “All men are not fools, some remain bachelors.” (Shucks, why I din’t see this before tying the knot?)
The second read: “Of all things lost, I miss my mind most.” (hehe me too)
This reminded me of the best ad slogan I came across long ago. It was for a blood donation campaign and read: “Blood is meant to circulate, donate.”
I rounded up the day with a Pizza Hut salad. Missed you guys and gals.

Silenced by virus

I am down with severe throat infection and woke up to find in horror that I cannot speak. The words just refuse to come out. I tried to ring up my mom in India.
“Bahhh,” I went off.
Already in her eighties, my mom wondered which ghost was haunting her.
“Bahhhh..bhooooah?” she replied.
After minutes of struggle and a couple of dirhams lost as phone charge, I convinced her it’s me.
Then I went for my walk.
The tailor of Max mall, a daily acquaintance, expected me to scream as usual “Hiiiiiiii.”
Seeing me mum and just waving, he rushed, shook hands and asked, “How’s everything?”
“Bahhh,” I replied.
“You are always funny,” he laughed and patted me on my back. Actually he slapped me in the guise of a pat.
“No fun. Throat gone for a toss,” I managed to tell him through sign language.
Thank God, yesterday when my boss rang up to ask about the progress on report about Dubai Aquarium tank leak, I was OK.
Otherwise, my job would have gone for a bahhhhhh.

Painter who ran in fear

My room in Sharjah has just been whitewashed by the builder.
I remembered a painter in our building in Mumbai. The dark guy mostly appeared coated in colour paints with only his eyes visible. My daughter would run and hide in fear seeing him.
This guy had four daughters and was not giving up. He wanted a son and worked hard for that. At last he was blessed with one. When my second daughter was born, he told me: “Don’t give up.”
“No thanks. Hum doh, hamara doh, (We two, ours two),” I replied.
Once we asked that painter to whitewash my house. He kept his material at my house and went for tea. The inquisitive monkey brain of mine suggested that I should try my hand.
I opened the kits and started brushing the walls even before they had been scratched. Within minutes, the place was in a mess. Paint splashed on my hands, face, hair and floor.
I heard the doorbell. My wife returned with some vegetables.
“Whaoooooo?” she screamed.
The painter was stepping in behind her.
He saw me and this time it was his turn to run in fear.

Ups and downs of life

When things go upside down, better stand erect and face the situation. Wow, what a famous quote by Global Madrasi. OK, what do you do, when things are monotonous and humdrum? Just stand upside down.
Hehe, this is what I did in Jumairah beach, Dubai, this Saturday.
I was with Mr Subbu and Mr Rafiq. We could see the world’s highest manmade structure Burj Khalifa from the beach (Not in photo).
Why don’t we do something different? asked Mr Subbu.
“You want me to stand upside down or what?” I asked him.
“I am sure you won’t dare with people around watching,” challenged Mr Subbu.
“I want to be a sport. Challenge accepted,” I replied.
“Try, I will shoot (hey, with a camera, boss),” he said.
The result is for you to see. Not bad, hehe?

Monk with a tail

“Can you keep yourself happy 24/7?” asked my friend.
“No. Nor could my dad, or his dad or my/your predecessors,” I replied.
“Sorry to say, you sound hypocritical. Remove Say Cheese 24/7 from your blog header,” he said.
“It is like this. The universal spirit or the Atman as we say in the East has happiness as its base. It shines in everyone’s hearts 24/7. But just like dark clouds block the effulgence of the sun, desires and ignorance cloud our shining spirit,” I replied.
“Oh you think you are a monk?” he mocked.
“My dear friend Frenny Maneckshaw used to call me that,” I replied. “Only she added two letters “ey.”

Valentine shock

She’s hardworking, highly intelligent, enterprising…You add synonyms.
“Happy Valentine’s Day,” I wrote to her.
“Hi brother,” she replied instantly from Canada.
I felt a tremor in my heart.
“I warned you not to entertain naughty thoughts,” my colleague laughed.
“Did you, rascal?” I asked myself.
“No, it’s just that we used to discuss so many things that friends do, not sisters,” I reasoned.
“So that’s the end of your friendship?” I could see the glee in my colleague’s face.
“Nope. We used to hug (virtually). Now we will hug more often. And this time it will be a pure affectionate bond, free of polluted, nasty thoughts,” I replied.
I could feel the earthquake in my colleague’s heart.

This post may not click

This Saturday visited a night market near Dubai creek. Clicked a few photos with my mobile and naturally the picture quality is poor. I have to repeat the quality is poor. Who knows one of my wonderful blogger friends may think of a brilliant idea of gifting a new mobile. Hey, where are you running away? At least, see the photos.


Ahmed is an "Arabic tea" seller from Syria. Tamarind is used for the tea.


A carpet is being weaved and sold at the same spot.

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Well, this's a floating restaurant.

Avi, Avi…

I can’t forget this guy Avinash. He was with the technical support cell of the newspaper. Very friendly chap.
One day when he passed by I called him with a grim face.
“Hey, I heard you are spreading words about me.”
“Who said man?” he got serious.
“I know everything. Lemme tell you straight on your face. I don’t like this.”
He was almost angry. “Temme who said?” he raised his voice.
“Arre. Everyone says that you go around telling I am an enterprising guy, intelligent and charming.”
“I swear I never said anything like that,” he replied instantaneously. And then fell silent for a second.
When everyone else laughed he realized the joke.
“Shit. Why will I say such lies anyway?” he smiled.
I continued.
“So are you sure you never said anything like that?”
“Never.”
“Then go and spread the word at least now.”
He laughed and disappeared.